What is the best advice you can give to a newly single mom of 2?

I'm sure many of you have been where I am now... What have you learned from your experiences that you can offer me in the way of advice? What is the best advice you can give to a newly single mom of 2?
Keep your children as physically safe as possible. Remind their father when he picks them up that you would hate to have to kill someone who let anything happen to them. Say it gently and sweetly and out of your children's hearing (my ex is an alcoholic, and so maybe this is over-kill in your case).





Your children need you to make them feel like their world will end happily ever after. Make this your #2 priority after their physical well-being if you cannot make them equally important.





Your children need to believe they were conceived by people who wanted them and loved each other. Your children need to believe their father is a great guy who adores them, even if you have to pretend. In situations with drugs/alcohol or other bad environmental issues, even more so do you need to point out the good things about the person. They will figure out the bad things on their own at age appropriate intervals.





Oh, and if you're thinking of dating: Don't advertise online that you are a single mother. Don't talk about your children until you have met the man or know a great deal about him. Don't bring him home until you feel he is possibly a keeper. You are their mother, you can make judgments about a mate in their best interest. If not, why not? Adjust your priorities accordingly. When you do bring him home, pay close attention to how your children react. I don't mean do they like him, they will probably not. I mean do they act like safe, carefree children around him. Or do they act afraid. If they act afraid, you're dating too soon.





EDIT: Mamamia, get a grip on yourself. There are ways to get involved again without living in utter paranoia. It involves first building a fabulous level of communication with your children, empowering them with the tools they need to recognize danger and get to safety and it can be done. It happens all the time. Not every man is a molester and the other parent gets custody if something happens to you, not the step-father.What is the best advice you can give to a newly single mom of 2?
I am still learning myself (a newly single mom of 1 divorced after 11 together!). I have already learned that your children need a bit of extra special care right now. That family is indispensable and has been a great help to me. I learned not to let my pride stand in the way of getting what I need for myself and my son. And that when I thought that things would be better off without me in the world all I have to do is think of my son and I know what my purpose in life is. I learned that you have to be a mother and a father to your children (in my case anyway since he is 4000 miles away from me).


I have also learned that you need time for yourself occasionally to be able to continue on and be strong.





Like I said I am still learning myself (I have only been divorced for a little over a month-separated for 5 months).
Keep a positive relationship with your kids' dad. Be friendly and cooperative even if he's not. Smile and be nice. Your children are watching you interact. Children can feel like they are caught in the middle of a tug of war. He should include you and you should include him on bdays, sports events, etc. That goes too for grandparents on both sides too. You both have only ended a legal agreement, not your life. People are still related and involved regardless. Keep your children's family intact for their sake.





I also agree with the other answers in that don't bring other acquaintances into the picture. Keep your dates private and only introduce a man if he is extremely serious to the point he is exclusive and a possible marriage partner.






Stay out of a relationship for at least one year, get to know yourself all over again. You are not the same person now that you were before you married, this is the greatest mistake women make, thinking they can just pick up where they left off. Fall madly in love with yourself, spend quality time with your children, enjoy your own company and read the book ';Before you Do';. Good luck
Breathe! Be the best mom that you can, but don't forget yourself in the process. I have never been there, but a close friend has. The less upheaval the kids have to deal with, the better. And depending on your situation, try not to bad-mouth their father (I was once the kid that had to listen to that....). Good luck!
To make the best of the time you have with them. I raised two on my own after divorce and they now tell me that they more appreciated it when I was just hanging around with them. I had to work 50 hrs. a week so my weekends were all about them. Quality time is better than quantity. And be sure to stay on top of those kids, they seem to think that mothers are pushovers when they get to be teenagers. You will do fine. Good luck to you.
ur going to be fine. i have a few friends who are single mothers and everything is alot better than when they were with the father. whatever u do,dont go way easy on ur kids out of guilt for being single. so many people let their kids do whatever they want all cuz the parent feels guilty for not being perfect.
YOUR KIDS ARE YOUR #1 PRIORITY .. NOT DATING





NEVER BRING MEN HOME - EVER





IF YOU MUST DATE - GET A GOOD SITTER AND REMEMBER IF ANYTHING HAPPENS TO YOU ..SOMEONE ELSE WILL RAISE YOUR KIDS..SO BEWARE OF MEN/BAD RELATIONSHIPS





GET A SITTER AND HAVE SOME .. JUST ME TIME !





DO FUN THINGS WITH YOUR KIDS....BIKING/PLAYING/ZOO, MUSIC






Stay active, find interesting things to do. Make sure you have a steady, reliable babysitter. When you start dating again, don't introduce anyone to your kids until you've been dating for at least 3 months.
Have fun....





Never bring guys home when your kids are there unless you are serious about them....





have fun....





have fun....
Don't get pregnant.
****Breath****





Take it one day at a time!





And know how amzingly strong you are for doing what your doing!
take care of your children FIRST...worry about dating after the kids are grown or at least in HS